I Am Not Your Baby Mother by Candice Brathwaite

Her insights into the importance of the grieving process for your lost loved ones struck a chord with me & indeed each person grieves differently & it is vital to do so & in your own way for as long as you need.

Her relationship advice is sage particularly on finding the worthwhile partners & instilling confidence & values in children to see them successfully through life. I'm a white woman in my 40's & probably not Candice's imagined reader, but she is right about many issues such as recognising your self-worth & how to recognise & value the important things in life. This is a fantastic book, there is so much good advice & hard won experience in it that ALL women can absorb & benefit from.

Thank you to the Tandem Collective and Quercus Books for my gifted audiobook as part of the #SistaSisterListenAlong. I’d recommend it to fans of “Slay in Your Lane” or “How Do We Know We’re Doing it Right?”. Candice’s life hasn’t been plain sailing but it’s also representative of thousands of women, which is why she is able to have great insight. My non-black listenalong buddies found it very informative, so it’s good for any race, but I love how she’s specifically written it for black girls.

OVERALL: If you’re a fan of personal essays, this is definitely worth picking up. So maybe I didn’t enjoy this chapter because I’m new to “the law of attraction” and needed an entry level explanation? Or maybe it felt jarring and contradictory to the earlier chapter about money? I don’t know, but I wasn’t feeling it. She talks about putting things into the universe and positive thinking, which is something I loosely believe in but haven’t researched. But the lesson on manifestation didn’t work for me. I own rose quartz, tarot cards and have been to a psychic. NOT SO GOOD BITS: Okay, I am a little woo-woo. However, it was the lesson on money that I found most useful because I think it’s an important topic that women don’t address enough and she gives practical advice on debt. She articulates the issues so well that if anyone asks me about colourism and how that affects relationships for dark-skinned girls, I will simply refer them to this book from now on. Her struggles with her hair and dating white guys made me yell “preach Sista, preach!”. GOOD BITS: Having grown up in the same area to Candice (she literally mentions my school in lesson 2), this book felt very relatable.

I Am Not Your Baby Mother by Candice Brathwaite